Well, I’ve fallen out with Beth, and I’ve fallen out with mum,
Because Grace’s husband; Jake, is a cheating piece of scum.
So, this is how it happened; I’ll break it down a bit
Some of it is boring, so some of it I’ll skip
I thought he was okay – you know? An average sort of chap…
Well, he went and put his profile on this dating app
And apparently, ‘it’s my fault’, they blamed it all on me,
Because I told my sister; who spread it, obviously…
So, I saw it first on Tinder; so, I mentioned it to Beth
Who told it all to Jenny, – and Jenny, phoned Aunt Steph.
Aunt Steph? Well, she was livid! She rang up Mum and Gran,
And Gran forgot, the whole damn lot. You know… just how she can?
So, that is how it all got out, – and I only talked to Beth,
I wish I’d never said a word. I should’ve saved me breath.
So, how did Grace find out? Oh yes, that’s the funny bit…
Gran looked at Grace, forgot her face, and told her all of it.
But Gran told Grace… that I told her. You know; she gets confused?
And Beth, she went along with it, which put me in a mood.
So, I think that it is Beth’s fault. I think you will agree,
For if she hadn’t told no-one; they wouldn’t be blaming me.
But Mum; she’s taking Beth’s side, – I am asking; is that right?
Well yes… I did… I posted it… On the Tinder site.
‘Cos, I thought that everyone should know: that Jake, he is a creep
And Grace should kick him up his arse, and into Tuesday week
She’s so much better than him, and she’s such a pretty face,
The kids will never miss him, she soon will fill his place.
Yeah, she’s better off without him; I really do agree,
So, if there’s anyone to thank? Well… They should be thanking me.