Oh, dear me, I am poorly, I’ve gone and caught a cold,
I’m feeling really rubbish, if I’m honest, truth be told,
My throat is sore, my ears are blocked. My eyes and lips are dry.
My body breaks, my head it aches. I think I’m going to die
My nose is either blocked or it’s dripping like a tap,
I’m feeling hot, I’m feeling cold, I’m feeling really crap!
My breaths are very shallow, they’re shallow and they’re small,
I’m wheezing in, I’m sneezing out. I cannot breathe at all.
I’m taking Paracetamol and Ibuprofen too,
The Doctor says it’s nothing, and there’s nothing he can do –
He says, I’ll have to suffer. And suffering I am…
He can’t call it a common cold – that highfalutin man!
So, I floundered down the pharmacy and I asked the pharmacist;
For a cure, to cure the common cold. He said that ‘none exist’.
But he recommended remedies – Which cost me quite a bit.
And vapour rub; I’ve used two tubs and cannot even smell it!
I’ve used up all the tissues, they are strewn about the floor,
So, I’m using kitchen roll now which rubs me red and raw.
I’m wrapped up on the sofa for all the world to see,
That I am very poorly, I’m poorly as can be.
I haven’t had much sympathy, but then I haven’t made a fuss,
We struggle on we muddle on, don’t we all of us?
My husband is complaining now. He says he’s caught it too –
Except his isn’t common. – He says it is ‘The Flue’.